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BARBWIRE
BY ANDREW BARBANO
From the 9-30-2020 Sparks Tribune
2021 Nevada Press Association Award Winner
Superspreaders, homotextuals & hall of famers
As
longtime readers expect, the legendary Barbwire investigative team spared
every expense in obtaining an exclusive interview with Justice Ruth Bader
Ginsburg's replacement, Judge Amy Coney Barrett.
BARB-Q: Judge Barrett, you have seven children. What does your husband do?
ACB: Dishes.
BARB-Q: I hear you have matching bathrobes. What color are they?
ACB: You're kidding, right?
BARB-Q: You are a deeply religious person. Who's your favorite Catholic?
ACB: After last week, Mitt Romney, at least for awhile.
BARB-Q: What's your favorite movie?
ACB: "Hang 'em High." Clint's a great Republican.
BARB-Q: Any others?
ACB: "Honey, I Shrunk the Kids" and, after last week, "Fast
& Furious."
BARB-Q: What's your favorite book of the Old Testament?
ACB: You're kidding, right?
BARB-Q: Who's your favorite Disney character?
ACB: Well, it used to be Donald Duck.
BARB-Q: Your mentor was Justice Antonino Scalia, for whom you clerked?
ACB: He is the father of modern textualism, basing decisions on the meaning
of the words when the law in question was passed.
BARB-Q: So any word not in use before 1800 is suspect?
ACB: Cowabunga!
BARB-Q: Do you still go to confession?
ACB: No. My parish priest got really pissed off that I kept invoking attorney-client
privilege or the Fifth Amendment.
BARB-Q: Do you think women should be ordained as priests?
ACB: Hell, no. Why open the door to another low-paid, long-hour job? I think
Justice Ginsburg might agree on that one.
BARB-Q: If she wuz alive, she'd be turning over in her grave. Thank you, Mme.
Justice-designate. Let's do this again soon.
ACB: Not if I can help it.
BRIGHT SHINING LIE DEPT. This tweet went out last
Friday from Regional Transportation Commission bus system management: "Safety
is everyone's responsibility." Except theirs.
"RTC and its contractors are doing their part and transit riders are
urged to do theirs," the tweet chirped. "Follow the 3 Ws: Watch
your distance, wash your hands and wear a mask."
Do lying tweeters grow longer beaks like Pinocchio with chicken feathers?
RTC sez they are enforcing Gov. Sisolak's mask mandate. Also a lie. Drivers
who push masks get written up or fired. See the evidence for yourself at NevadaLabor.com/
The three Washoe County transit systems carry upwards of 20,000 passengers
a day. Without masking, they are little more than rolling ocean liners, super-spreading
deadly disease. And they're doing it on your dime, including buying expensive
TV ads. Maybe they should change their name to the Regional Propaganda Commission.
RTC is currently comprised of County Commissioners Vaughn Hartung and Bob
Lucey, joined by Reno Councilmembers Neoma Jardon and Oscar Delgado (the only
Democrat on the board). The Sparks seat held by the late Mayor Ron Smith has
been filled by Councilmember Kristopher Dahir (R). Moral obtuseness is a bi-partisan
affliction.They won't lift a finger without you pushing. So push. Contact
info at NevadaLabor.com/
Because government at all levels has failed to protect drivers and riders,
the Teamsters Union has filed charges in federal court. Stay tuned.
SPEAKING OF UNION BUSTERS. The Reno Gazette-Journal ran a front page
spread last Monday about "longtime northern Nevada builder Dianda Construction"
changing its name to Plenium Builders.
Actually, they haven't been around very long at all. Longtime construction
mogul Norm Dianda's sons started it a few years ago as a non-union, low-wage,
questionably skilled enterprise. Dianda's Q&D Construction has been around
for decades and is mostly unionized. Plenium fits right in to the anti-union
bias of Sparks City Hall today. Five years ago, the city council loosened
up skilled labor requirements to turn the failing Victorian Square into apartments
on the cheap.
DONALD'S DUNCE DAY. Donald Trump, Jr., will campaign at Peterbilt Trucks in
Sparks today. Feel free to attend if you want to catch your death during death-defyin'
speechifying. Last week, Trump2 packed more than 800 into a 500-seat room
in Chandler, Ariz. Almost all were maskless as well as clueless, like the
guest of honor.
The speakers parroted every conspiracy theory in the book save for Sen. Ted
Cruz, R-Tejas, assassinating President Lincoln, or somesuch.
An 18-year-old Republican finance student from Tucson, one of the few heretical
mask wearers, expressed disappointment, describing the Trump re-election campaign
as having the maturity level of a teenager. He was disappointed to see that
the event was just a live trolling session.
Jonathan Gross wanted to hear about Trump policies. Nada.
"I came to hear about what Trump is planning to do with his re-election
but it felt like just a slander of the left," he told the fake news New
York Times.
ONE FOR THE GOOD GUYS.
I am the only campaign manager I know who will close 2020 batting a thousand.
I'm officially 1-0 after former Tribunite Dennis
Myers was voted into the Nevada Press Association Hall of Fame.
Dennis' nomination last year came a bit too close to his August 2019 death.
He collapsed from a stroke at his Sparks apartment and never regained consciousness.
I submit that he was and remains the greatest journalist in Nevada history.
Mark Twain, also in the NPA HOF, only lived here about three years. I was
further delighted that longtime RGJ columnist and internationally noted auto
critic and motorsports writer Cory Farley made it in while he is still
around to enjoy it.
I got RGJ columnist/editor Guy
Richardson into the HOF on my first try a few years back. Next up,
a couple more immortal Trib vets: UNR journalism Prof.
Jake Highton and world class photographer Don Dondero.
You will find bios of all of my nominees at NevadaLabor.com/ My labor of love
memorializing Dennis remains his
only formal obituary. It's worth reading because it links to so many of
his greatest hits and was excerpted in the press association announcement.
We worked — ahem — independently together in knocking now-Sen.
Ira Hansen, R-Sparks, out of the 2015 Nevada State Assembly speakership. (See
the website for sordid details.) The story went viral from the Maui News
to the Times, Post and Journal, then crossed the pond to The Guardian of London/UK.
ADVICE FROM ON HIGH. "Stay positive. Test negative," sez CBS news
anchor Norah O'Donnell. RTC, are you listening?
Take care of each other and be careful out there.
¡Sí se puede!
Be well. Raise hell. Esté bien. Haga infierno.
___________________
NevadaLabor.com Editor Andrew
Barbano is a 51-year Nevadan whose reputation remains impervious to further
augmentation or denigration. E-mail <barbano@frontpage.reno.nv.us>
Barbwire by Barbano has originated in the Tribune since 1988.
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Margaret
Dumont and Groucho Marx
Still crazy after all these years. |
BARBWIRE
BY ANDREW BARBANO
From the 9-23-2020 Sparks Tribune
Messages from the gods:
Ignore at your peril
Blasphemy, defined as mocking someone's god, is the most popular capital sin
in most religions. I prefer keeping my head by promoting presumption instead.
The preachers who irritate me most are those who presume and thus purport
to speak for whatever god or Olympus they are selling.
Well today, I'm joining the rogues gallery of presumptuousness.
Look around you and tell me that whatever concept of the almighty you prefer
is not sending serious telegrams by whatever means are available to omnipotent
spirits.
Fire, ice, water, pestilence, disease, winds, storms, murder, mayhem, reality
TV, carrier pigeon. God has even sent Donald Trump to us because She's fresh
out of locusts.
We are now without both Rep. John Lewis and Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg. Czar
Donaldov may have nominated a Scaliante homotextual to Mrs. Ginsburg's seat
by the time you read this.
The Notorious RBG's best bud on the court was her polar opposite, Antonino
the Ancient. (He was apparently a good comedian, so they got along.) La Scalia's
method of judicial activism was to get out the dictionary, look up the meaning
of words, and consider those the gospel according to the framers. Easier than
working.
Indiana Judge Amy Coney Barrett, who has apparently grabbed the president
by the presumption, believes that Chief Justice John Roberts has betrayed
the commands of textualism. Zounds. Call out the dragoons and have the blackguard
flogged, drawn and quartered.
I wonder how a fundamental homotextual like her could bear to live in the
same town where Pete Buttigieg served as mayor. I also wonder if she voted
for him. Probably not. No self-respecting Notre Dame professor would commit
such blasphemy.
Theocracy has made a big comeback in recent years and the wave has yet to
crest.
As poet e.e. cummings might say, this monster mannunkind is devolving.
Our shaky democracy might shortly devolve into national breakup or civil war.
At least the National Rifle Association's clients will continue to profit.
THE PROBLEM. As always, control by the wealthy, whether in the flesh or in
legal fictions called corporations, who rape and pillage the body politick.
THE SOLUTION. As always, expanding economic opportunity with a healing dash
of human respect for this magical little place we've been given for just a
little time.
John Lewis and Ruth Bader Ginsburg lived their lives that way.
Remember the end of e.e. cummings greatest line: "pity this monster mannunkind...not."
RNR REDUX. Former Reno Gazette-Journal investigative ace Frank X. Mullen now
helms the online reincarnation of the Reno News & Review. Glad to see
it. His latest scoop about local Q-Anon moonhowlers seeking out sex trafficking
where it doesn't exist is a-must read. See the expanded web edition of this
column at NevadaLabor.com/
CITY HALL HIJINX. Economic Development Authority of Washoe County (EDAWN)
Executive Director Mike Kazmierski is actively campaigning for the defeat
of Reno City Councilmember Jenny Brekhus, D. That's dumb politics, especially
when your outfit is knocking down a cool $100,000 a year in cash support from
both the cities of Reno and Sparks.
GOVERNMENT WASTE R US. Within a few days of being sued by the Teamsters Union,
the Regional Transportation Commission and its bus system subcontractor Keolis-19
are paying for slick TV spots selling the bright, shining lie that they are
complying with Gov. Steve Sisolak's mask mandate.
See all the evidence to the contrary for yourself at NevadaLabor.com/ The
three Washoe County transit systems carry upwards of 20,000 passengers a day.
Without masking, they are little more than rolling ocean liners, spreading
deadly disease. And they're doing it on your dime.
The Sparks seat held by the late Mayor Ron Smith still needs filling. RTC
is currently comprised of County Commissioners Vaughn Hartung and Bob Lucey,
joined by Reno Councilmembers Neoma Jardon and Oscar Delgado (the only Democrat
on the board). Doesn't matter. Moral obtuseness in bi-partisan. They won't
lift a finger without you pushing. So push.
DEJA VU ALL OVER AGAIN. I've been on this beat for 50 years and nothing has
changed. People of average means get elected to local government and are quickly
surrounded by sycophantic buzzards who pick the public's pocketbook clean.
It's called economic development by its supporters, corporate welfare by its
detractors. (See the NevadaLabor.com corporate welfare archive.)
If you ever wonder why local schools, parks, roads and first responders are
underfunded, now you know one big reason.
ETHIX, EFFLUENT AND AFFLUENCE. Lemmon Valley activist Tammy Holt-Still has
filed a complaint with the Nevada Ethics Commission about Reno Councilmember
Bonnie Weber, R, but that's not all.
Did you know that University of Nevada researchers would not test that open
cesspool in Lemmon Valley (euphemistically called Swan Lake) for Coronavirus
and other gremlins, but does so with sewage effluent in more affluent areas?
Did you know that developers want to subdivide Swan Lake for sale when it
dries up, just like the scam they pulled in the southeast Reno flood plain
Stay tuned and keep your waders handy.
Take care of each other and be careful out there.
¡Sí se puede!
Be well. Raise hell. Esté bien. Haga infierno.
___________________
NevadaLabor.com Editor Andrew Barbano is a 51-year Nevadan whose reputation
remains impervious to further augmentation or denigration. E-mail <barbano@frontpage.reno.nv.us>
Barbwire by Barbano has originated in the Tribune since 1988.
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Diabolical
Déjà Vu: Fire is the Devil's only friend History
foreshadows a GOP November win President
Donald Trump as Andrew Jackson? So opined a plethora of prestigious,
highly-paid expert pundits on election night. The Barbwire warned
of exactly that last March. Twice.
Those
with crystal balls shouldn't throw stones Remembering
the first female U.S. presidents
All the more reason to subscribe to Barbwire Confidential.
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