a child came out to wonder
grasshopper and the dragonfly
Adios to a grandfather and a grand-daughter who never met
Barbwire by Andrew Barbáno / Expanded from the 9-6-2017 Sparks Tribune / Updated 9-7 and 10-13-2017 Expansions in blue
can't remember ever crying myself to sleep. Ever. Until last week. When
I learned that my grand-daughter was dead at 21.
The Tara Danielle Donlevy I once knew displayed a sparkling personality right out of Peanuts, remarkably adult words from a child.
She was born able to
command a room just by walking in, the perfect politician or perhaps a doctor.
After five months in a Phoenix area hospital, she died of complications of heart surgery on August 26.
Her father, number two son Andrew, was at her bedside.
"The best analogy I can think of so far? This is like having a limb amputated without anesthesia. Literally ripped from the body," he wrote.
"Afterwards, you see where the limb should be and the mind still gives you the sensation and feeling as if the limb is still there."
I responded as best I could: "When his wife died last year, comedian/actor Patton Oswalt [Agents of SHIELD] finally gave me the words for what I went thru when your mother Betty died and what you endure now: a 'numb slog.'
"The words themselves are so clumsy, ugly and difficult to say that I have trouble remembering them. Great if dark anti-poetry. Now I can finally feel a bit of what your mom felt on that awful 1978 Saturday when we were informed that your sister Debbie was lost at 19. Betty exhaled a soul-wrenching sigh, then 'She was so perfect!'
"A simultaneous complaint and question to God. Gotta hunch you've been there."
THE PRICE OF PASSAGE: Funerals are expensive. Tara's friends launched a GoFundMe page at http://gf.me/u/cgt453/ Those who want to mail checks may do so, payable to Andrew Donlevy, 1480 E. Pecos Rd. #3025, Gilbert AZ 85295. A memorial is scheduled at 3:00 p.m. this Saturday Sept. 9 at the Falconer Funeral Home, 251 W. Juniper Avenue, Gilbert AZ 85233.
big sister Allison added this on Facebook:
"Friends and family, let's get together to celebrate Tara's life and
how she touched us all. This will be a happy and loving occastion since
Tara was such a happy and loving girl. There will be a chance for anyone
who wishes to share a story about Tara. There will be a reception following
at the San Privada Apts Clubhouse, 1480 E. Pecos Road, corner of Val Vista
and Pecos, Gilbert AZ. Thank you for attending and your love for Tara. Andrew,
Allison and Lauren."
My Peanut ended it with a selfie.
"She wrapped my arm around her and wanted a picture of us," her father wrote. "She also didn't want me to leave. She was scared."
I turned last week's (and this week's) columns into a photo gallery of her life and death.
After I uploaded the pictures, I took a break outside.
I saw the body of a strong green grasshopper lying among my roses.
A dragonfly had dropped out of the sky a few feet away.
Reminders to soar while
If you were a grasshopper, you'd be able to leap tall buildings in single bound.
I shared the soundsystem
with Beethoven and a who's-who of journalists (Dennis
Myers, Lise Mousel) and Jake's colleagues (including Journalism
Dean Alan Stavitsky, Profs. Todd Felts, Alison Gaulden, Grant Leneaux, Howard
Rosenberg) and Mrs. Mary Foxton Highton who read from MacBeth.
The striking Ms. Mousel voiced Shakespeare's Sonnet No. 73: "In me thou see'st the glowing of such fire, that on the ashes of his youth doth lie...This thou perceivest which makes thy love more strong, To love that well which thou must leave ere long."
Adios, dear hearts.
Be well. Raise hell. / Esté bien. Haga infierno.
Barbano is a 48-year Nevadan, chair of the Nevada César Chávez
Committee, producer of Nevada's annual
César Chávez Day celebration, first vice-president
and political action chair of the Reno-Sparks
NAACP, labor/consumer/civil rights advocate, member of Communications
Workers of America Local 9413/AFL-CIO and editor of NevadaLabor.com
and BallotBoxing.US and SenJoeNeal.org
and DoctorLawyerWatch.com/ As always,
his opinions are strictly his own. E-mail firstname.lastname@example.org.
Barbwire by Barbano has originated
in the Sparks Tribune since 1988.
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Copyright © 1982-2018 Andrew Barbano
Andrew Barbano is a 48-year Nevadan, editor of NevadaLabor.com and SenJoeNeal.org; and former chair of the City of Reno's Citizens Cable Compliance Committee. He is producer of Nevada's annual César Chávez Day celebration and serves as first vice-president, political action chair and webmaster of the Reno-Sparks NAACP. As always, his opinions are strictly his own. E-mail email@example.com.
Barbwire by Barbano moved to Nevada's Daily Sparks Tribune on Aug. 12, 1988, and has originated in them parts ever since.
Whom to blame: How a hall-of-famer's hunch birthed the Barbwire in August of 1987
Betty J. Barbano
2-7-1941 / 12-27-2005
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