BARBWIRE
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ANDREW BARBANO
Pirate Laureate of the High Desert Outback of the American Dream


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Je Suis Charlie
"Our republic and its press will rise or fall together." — Joseph Pulitzer

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"Media is the plural of mediocre."
— Jimmy Breslin (1928-2017)


   
They said there'll be snow at Christmas
They said there'll be peace on Earth
   But instead it just kept on raining
A veil of tears for the virgin birth
   I remember one Christmas morning
A winter's light and a distant choir
   And the peal of a bell
and that Christmas tree smell
   and eyes full of tinsel and fire

   They sold me a dream of Christmas
They sold me a Silent Night
   And they told me a fairy story
Till I believed in the Israelite
   And I believed in Father Christmas
And I looked to the sky with excited eyes
   'Till I woke with a yawn in the first light of dawn
And I saw him and through his disguise

JESUS

  • was a radical, nonviolent revolutionary who hung around with lepers, hookers and crooks
  • wasn't American and never spoke English
  • was anti-wealth, anti-death penalty, anti-public prayer (Matthew 6:5)
  • but was never anti-gay
  • never mentioned birth control
  • never called the poor lazy
  • never justified torture
  • never fought for tax cuts for the wealthiest Nazarenes
  • never asked a leper for a co-pay
  • and was a long-haired, brown-skinned, homeless community-organizing, anti-slut-shaming middle-eastern Jew.

I Believe in Father Christmas      
By Greg Lake and Peter Sinfield (1974)  

@JohnFugelsang
(as forwarded by Shayne del Cohen)


So this is Christmas: May we get what we deserve
Barbwire by Andrea Luigi Barbáno / Expanded from the 12-19-2018 Sparks Tribune / Updated 12-23 and 12-25-2018 / Expansions in blue


Greatest Hits Dept.

WE WON: BIG NEWS FROM THE NEVADA PRESS ASSOCIATION CONFAB IN GOMORRAH SOUTH —> BARBWIRE NOMINEE GUY RICHARDSON INDUCTED INTO HALL OF FAME ON FIRST BALLOT

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The 9th Muse
Barbwire wins 9th Nevada Press Association award

GOLD 2017-18

2018 First-Place Winners

From the depths of despair to the den of iniquity & holy of holies

"Excellent work. These are some of the most moving columns I've read."
— NPA contest judge/9-29-201
8

The Grasshopper and
the Dragonfly

9-6-2017

Kicked off the Ledge
4-18-2017

NATIONAL NEWS FIRST-BREAK
Back to the Future in
Mississippi West Nevada

10-18-2017

Gold 2017
Don't ask Renown Med for marijuana to help your chemo

10-4-2016
We Don't Need No Education
Toxic turf threat ignored

12-13-2016
Kate Smith & Lady Gaga
2-14-2017

Bronze 6-pack
In the Uber-Nevada legislature, words can kill
4-28-2015
On artificial turf, don't breathe unless absolutely necessary (above)
11-24-2015
Leading questions, lead-headed leaders
1-19-2016

Hopelessly trying to win an earthquake
4-18-2013
2013 Loony Tunes Legislative Lexicon
5-30-2013
The politics of media ga-ga boosterism
3-20-2014

More statewide and national award winners

We Don't Need No Education—>
Neverending Barbwire Series

1997 Pulitzer Prize entries

Barbwire.TV:
15-year overnight success

Daily Sparks Tribune 2-10-2008

The Barbwire's Greatest Hits
Highlights from radio days
mp3 file

The Dean's List

   The Dean of Reno Bloggers could very well be Andrew Barbano, self-described "fighter of public demons," who started putting his "Barbwire" columns online in 1996 and now runs 10 sites.

RENO NEWS & REVIEW, 11-9-2006

Tomorrow's news today —> Subscribe to Barbwire Confidential
TOP SECRET— HushHush!

 

This column is a throwback to my radio incarnation where music often drove points far deeper than my comments ever could.

   They sold me a dream of Christmas
They sold me a Silent Night
   And they told me a fairy story
Till I believed in the Israelite

It all seems so inadequate as I look around me. At least 85,000 children lie dead at our hands in impoverished Yemen.

Damn us.

I cry for the beloved country this Christmas. We are the living, killing, lifesaving, lying and dying embodiment of the yin and the yang, the good and the evil. We daily pay for the bloody burlesque of blowing off body parts on the sands of Araby then quickly practicing the latest medical miracles sewing up survivors.

I once thought that yin and yang were supposed to balance each other out.

"Without sorrow, there can be no joy. Without pain, there can be no pleasure. I don't know why that is."

So surprisingly stated the Almighty hisself portrayed by George Burns in Hollywood's greatest morality play "Oh, God!" (1977)

Alas and alack, our world spins out of balance. The Hopi have a word for it, "koyaanisqatsi." (Do see the films of the same name.)

   They said there'll be snow at Christmas
They said there'll be peace on Earth
   But instead it just kept on raining
A veil of tears for the virgin birth

St. George Carlin caustically observed "save the planet? We can't even save ourselves. The earth isn't going anywhere. We are!"

The late great one is increasingly proving correct.

Dear Mother Earth is taking revenge at the poor stewardship we primitives practice on the self-sustaining wonder she rented to us.

By the time this rock goes into the sun in about 100 million years, we will be long gone, back to stardust. In the grand scheme of things, your life and mine are not even as long as the eyelash-bat of a bantamweight flea.

Those who deem themselves more important than others need to occasionally go outside on a clear Nevada night and look up.

All you can do is what you can do in this fingersnap of existence you are granted.

Yeshua of Nazareth propounded a simple philosophy, the oft-stated Golden Rule which preceded his sojourn to Galilee by about 600 years. There's nothing wrong with any of the world's great religions. Alas and alack, all have fallen victim to the makeover monster of marketing to the masses.

John Lennon asked "So this is Christmas and what have you done?"

George Carlin answered with an admonition: "Take care of each other!"

     I wish you a hopeful Christmas
I wish you a brave new year
     All anguish pain and sadness
Leave your heart and let your road be clear


     They said there'll be snow at Christmas
They said there'll be peace on Earth
     Hallelujah Noel be it Heaven or Hell
The Christmas we get we deserve

"Oh, to be a child again. One and one made two. Oaks from acorns grew. I believed it all. Didn't you?"

Happy High Holly Days to you and yours.

Be well. Raise hell.

Esté bien. Haga infierno. (Pardon my Spanglish.) / être bien, élever l'enfer (And my French.) / Stammi bene. Scatenare l'inferno. (And Italian.)
______________

DISCOGRAPHY. "I believe in Father Christmas," lyrics by Peter Sinfeld, vocals and music by Dan Lake (with turbocharging courtesy of Sergei Prokofiev); topped out at number two behind Queen's "Bohemian Rhapsody" in 1974. Lyrics from "I believed it all" by the Pozo Seco Singers, 1967.

COMING NEXT WEEK — Crystal Balls: Barbwire Peerless Predixions 2019 & Beyond
______________
Andrew Barbano is a 50-year Nevadan, executive producer of Nevada's annual César Chávez Day celebration, first vice-president and political action chair of the Reno-Sparks NAACP, superannuated labor/consumer/civil rights advocate, member of Communications Workers of America Local 9413/AFL-CIO and editor of NevadaLabor.com and BallotBoxing.US and SenJoeNeal.org and DoctorLawyerWatch.com, among others. As always, his opinions are strictly his own. Barbwire by Barbano has originated in the Sparks Tribune since 1988 and received its ninth Nevada Press Association (6th first-place) award at the 29 Sept. 2018 NPA annual convention in Las Vegas. (Such ephemera and about six bucks will get you a Latte Mocha Cotsafracas Chingade at just about any Starbux worldwide, guaranteed.) E-mail barbano@frontpage.reno.nv.us.

WEB XTRAS & SMOKING GUNS —>

PINK SLIPS, PURGES AND PRUNING. I need to hear from recently purged Eldorado Hotel-Casino employees. Barbwire spies report perhaps 100 workers getting the ax just in time for the holidays. In this newspaper, at Barbwire.US and in the London Guardian, I have lamented the deepening desperation of renters here in Tesla boomtown.

I'm now getting complaints about medical and dental practices purportedly pruning their patient loads, cutting loose the less-lucrative. That's de facto malpractice but medical professionals are lawsuit-proof under Nevada law — unless you're rich enough to personally pay a few hundred grand in legal fees.

That's why TV lawyers only advertise for arrest or accident cases these days. If you've been cast adrift by patient pruning, call me at (775) 882-TALK or e-mail me.

Sore-oppressed Soul-Sister Cities: Menlo Park and Reno-Sparks-Fernley share similarly sad high-tech stretch marks

"All humanity has left the area": paying for Tesla's Gigafactory
Barbano and Nevada conservatives decry corporate welfare depredations

By Rory Carroll / The Guardian 7-3-2018

Editor's Note: The Guardian publishes 180,000 newspapers daily in London and environs and generates ONE BILLION monthly web page views.

(I should live so long.)

[MUCH MORE TESLACIDE]

"Facebook is taking everything": rising rents drive out Silicon Valley families
Property companies advertising their proximity to Facebook’s campus are giving low-income residents a choice: pay a huge rent increase or move out
By Sam Levin / The Guardian 6-20-2018


Peruse the Underbelly of the News —> Subscribe to Barbwire Confidential

For all the news you never knew you needed to know 'til now: Tell your friends and friendly enemies to subscribe to Barbwire Confidential for warm laughter, cheap thrills, hot scoops and occasional cold logic at BallotBoxing.US/ Cheap at twice the price. (Hush Hush!)

Last year's dark foreshadowings unfortunately became reality. I thus suggest inoculation by signing onto the HushHush! list at BallotBoxing.US/ It's cheap as well as enlightening entertainment. Thank you kindly for your support.

Smoking Guns—>

Melvin and Howard: The untold reality show
Barbwire by Andrea Luigi Barbáno / Expanded from the 12-12-2018 Sparks Tribune / Updated 12-14-2018
A Christmas fantasy for freedom-loving racists
Barbwire by Andrea Luigi Barbáno / Expanded from the 12-5-2018 Sparks Tribune
A pledge of allegiance for our empire's children
Editor
's note:
The above was published before the death of President George HW Bush. His record survives him.
Barbwire by Andrea Luigi Barbáno
/ Expanded from the 11-28-2018 Sparks Tribune

Trumptasic tree ornaments for fun and prophet
Barbwire by Andrea Luigi Barbáno
/ Expanded from the 11-21-2018 Sparks Tribune
Bluish waves, silver bullets, yellow dogs & chickens
Barbwire by Andrea Luigi Barbáno / Expanded from the 11-14-2018 Sparks Tribune
If we stop killing, we stop killing ourselves
Barbwire by Andrea Luigi Barbáno / Expanded from the 11-7-2018 Sparks Tribune
Personal & political hygiene for fun & prophet
The Nevada connection to murdered Saudi Jamal Khashoggi
Barbwire by Andrea Luigi Barbáno
/ Expanded from the 10-24-2018 Sparks Tribune
BallotBoxing '18: Maximum confusions & contusions
Barbwire by Andrea Luigi Barbáno / Expanded from the 10-17-2018 Sparks Tribune
Great Depression 2.0: Sure cure for what ails us
Barbwire by Andrea Luigi Barbáno / Expanded from the 10-10-2018 Sparks Tribune
50 shades of rape: Tales of future past
Barbwire by Andrea Luigi Barbáno / Expanded from the 10-3-2018 Sparks Tribune

Barbwire 30th Anniversary Trilogy
Now well into a 4th decade of equal opportunity harassment of the rich, famous & powerful
Sunday, August 12, 2018, marked 30 years since the first Barbwire appeared in the Rail City's newspaper of record since 1910. "The Chilling of Hot August Nights" brought the first of nine Nevada Press Association awards. I'll add more memories of the early days of the Barbwire as time, space and the political season allow. (See above right.)

Part 3: Biting the hand that feeds me
GOP '18 upsets: Déjà vu all over again
Laxalt and Heller favored to win in November
Barbwire by Andrea Luigi Barbáno
/ Expanded from the 9-5-2018 Sparks Tribune
Part 2: Biting the moonhowlers
Good reasons to lie to those pesky pollsters
Heller eats sheep balls to get the courage to perpetrate guilt by association
Barbwire by Andrea Luigi Barbáno
/ Expanded from the 8-29-2018 Sparks Tribune
Part 1: Bitten by my buds
Machine Gun Michele and her low-caliber, low-cut friends
The censored Barbwires of the 2015 legislature finally see ink and my fantasy fiancée bares all
Barbwire by Andrea Luigi Barbáno
/ Expanded from the 8-22-2018 Sparks Tribune

30 Years before the masthead: Barbano remembers the Barbwire's greatest hits
By Kayla Anderson / Sparks Tribune 8-22-2018

Barbwire by Barbano moved to Nevada's Daily Sparks Tribune on Aug. 12, 1988, and has originated in them parts ever since.
Whom to blame: How a hall-of-famer's hunch birthed the Barbwire in August of 1987
Tempus fugit.


$75 dead or alive: Still crazy after all these years
A mass murderer becomes famous on TV a century later

How come nobody noticed 'til now?
Barbwire by Andrew Barbáno
/ Expanded from the 2-21-2018 Sparks Tribune

Triangle Shirtwaist Factory owners Max Blank and Isaac Harris. Is not Mr. Harris eerily familiar to television junkies?

From the Emmy-winning opening slate of the blockbuster "Cheers" television series. Combined with its "Frasier" spinoff, it lasted 20 years.
The "shirtwaist kings" immigrated from Russia and made a fortune manufacturing "Gibson Girl"-style blouses. (Photo, "The American Experience"/PBS)
The Emmy-winning opening slate of the "Cheers" television series before the "slate" of creators is superimposed. Looks like Mr. Harris' dead ringer (at left) is having a bloody good time.

"Who ya gonna believe, me or your own eyes?" Chico Marx disguised as Groucho Marx in "Duck Soup" (1933)
Back to the story of the 1911 Triangle Shirtwaist holocaust

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Copyright © 1982-2018 Andrew Barbano

Andrew Barbano is a 50-year Nevadan, editor of NevadaLabor.com and SenJoeNeal.org; and former chair of the City of Reno's Citizens Cable Compliance Committee. He is the executive producer of Nevada's annual César Chávez Day celebration and serves as first vice-president and political action chair of the Reno-Sparks NAACP. As always, his opinions are strictly his own. E-mail barbano@frontpage.reno.nv.us.

Barbwire by Barbano moved to Nevada's Daily Sparks Tribune on Aug. 12, 1988, and has originated in them parts ever since.
Whom to blame: How a hall-of-famer's hunch birthed the Barbwire in August of 1987
Tempus fugit.

Betty J. Barbano
2-7-1941 / 12-27-2005

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