Every harried editor I've ever driven crazy at deadline has heard this excuse: "Something came in late and I had to rewrite from scratch. Please be patient."

This is such a time.

I was scrambling for a killer lead when conveniently arrived a compelling offer from the National Republican Senatorial Committee, the folks distributing defrocked Sen. Dean Heller's résumé and job applications.

This offer I could not refuse: "For a limited time only, donate just $1 or more to cover shipping and handling and we’ll send you a limited-edition White House ornament for free! This special offer won’t last long. Secure your ornament in time for the holidays now."

My first request for brass balls bounced because they are sold out. My second order for three pawnshop gold orbs was also back-ordered. Apparently, the country is already in serious hock. I suggest that you buy now while the GOP mail-order mavens still accept payment in dollars rather than rubles.

Then, get ready to go out of your tree.

PINK SLIPS, PURGES AND PRUNING. I need to hear from recently purged Eldorado Hotel-Casino employees. Barbwire spies report perhaps 100 workers getting the ax just in time for the holidays.

In this newspaper, at Barbwire.US and in the London Guardian, I have lamented the deepening desperation of renters here in Tesla boomtown.

I'm now getting complaints about medical and dental practices purportedly pruning their patient loads, cutting loose the less-lucrative. That's de facto malpractice but medical professionals are lawsuit-proof under Nevada law — unless you're rich enough to personally pay a few hundred grand in legal fees.

That's why TV lawyers only advertise for arrest or accident cases these days.

If you've been cast adrift by patient pruning, call me at (775) 882-TALK or e-mail me.

DRUG TRAFFIC. Proving how follytix can anesthetize an audience, a local major network TV station reports an October drop of 20,000 website visitors from September.

Gee, I wonder why.

Despite all of the depredations denoted hereinabove, I wish you and yours a warm and enjoyable Thanksgibleting.

Happy High Holly Days to you and yours.

Be well. Raise hell. Esté bien. Haga infierno.
_______
Andrew Barbano is a 50-year Nevadan, executive producer of Nevada's annual César Chávez Day celebration, first vice-president and political action chair of the Reno-Sparks NAACP, labor/consumer/civil rights advocate, member of Communications Workers of America Local 9413/AFL-CIO and editor of NevadaLabor.com and BallotBoxing.US and SenJoeNeal.org and DoctorLawyerWatch.com/ As always, his opinions are strictly his own. E-mail barbano@frontpage.reno.nv.us. Barbwire by Barbano has originated in the Sparks Tribune since 1988 and received its ninth Nevada Press Association award and 6th first-place at the 29 Sept. 2018 NPA annual convention in Las Vegas. (That trophy and about six bucks will get you a Latte Mocha Cotsafracas Chingade at just about any Starbux worldwide, guaranteed.)

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