BARBWIRE by ANDREW BARBANO Pirate Laureate of the High Desert Outback of the American Dream

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LOVE HURTS: Michele Fiore says she wants to shoot Syrian refugees
Las Vegas Sun / 12-7-2015

The Moonhowler Love Song     Thought you were a friend of mine Thought you were my buddy     I found out a short while ago Your thoughts were dark and muddy     You scare me half to death my friend with the things you say and do     So I'm goin' to heaven in a flash of fire with or without you     Hey! Goin' to heaven in a flash of fire with or without you     Easy come, easy go Some call me Easy Money     Sometimes life is full of laughs Sometimes it ain't funny     You may think that I'm a fool and sometimes that is true     But I'm goin' to heaven in a flash of fire with or without you     Hey! Goin' to heaven in a flash of fire with or without you     Some can dance, some can sing Some can play the fiddle     I've been left, I've been right I've been down the middle     You don't have to see my side or share my point of view     Cause I'm goin' to heaven in a flash of fire with or without you     Hey! Goin' to heaven in a flash of fire with or without you — Recorded by Hoyt Axton a long time ago Written by Hoyt Axton (1938-1999) and Catherine Smith

Michele Fiore: the Italian girl mama wanted for me?
Barbwire by Barbano / Excised from the 3-10-2015 Sparks Tribune as "not suitable" / Updated 3-12, 3-13, 3-30, 11-16, 12-2 and 12-7-2015

Searching for the right words to say? [Submit yours at Caption Roulette] I'll show you mine if you show me yours. <—— "She forgot the spurs, the whips AND the chains?"

"If you take your clothes off, it's amazing what will happen." — Lady Gaga to David Letterman

"No man's life, liberty or property are safe while the Legislature is in session." — Judge Gideon J. Tucker, 1866 (often erroneously attributed to Mark Twain).

I didn't realize it until I laid eyes on her in the flesh last week.

Assemblymember Michele Fiore, R-Gomorrah South, is the embodiment of the Italian girl my mother always wanted me to marry.

Alas and alack, I was born 30 years too soon.

Blame my parents. I do.

I had only seen photos until I beheld her in the legislative hallway last Tuesday.

The petite blonde looked every bit like the "young hot little girls" she says she wants so desperately to protect by giving them guns to take to school.

She is so militant that I wonder if her father wanted a boy. Her first name is Italian for Michael, whether male or female. I'd be Andrea in the old country.

We have that and so much more in common.

I don't know if she is Italian by conception or connubial conversion, and I don't care.

This is love at first sight.

She sauntered past me wearing an extremely form-fitting little black dress.

The lady says she packs serious heat at all times, even in the legislative building, but she wasn't carrying a purse.

Women often carry guns strapped inside of thighs, but the black dress was so tight that any garter holster would have been easily detected.

Only one place could conceal secret heat.

With the weapon, she's a top-heavy smokin' 45. Minus her concealed carry, she'd still be an NRA-perfect 38.

Either way, she's high caliber material.

I know she can shoot, not a biggie.

But can she cook?

Mama would want to know.

I fantasize seeing her in that little black dress, wearing an apron in a big kitchen cooking pasta.

Ah, que bella.

MICHELE, PART DEUX. Later in the week, Machine Gun Michele testified in favor of Assemblyman Jim Wheeler's Pop Tart gun bill.

Because a kid in another state got busted for chewing a Pop Tart into the shape of a gun, the Douglas County cowboy wants to make all Nevada student gun hijinx immune from prosecution.

St. Joan of Fiore to the rescue!

She reportedly showed fellow lawmakers another example, a two-inch gun charm she wears around her neck.

Two inches.

Dr. Freud, call your office.

The romance is in trouble.

TROUBLED ROMANCE , PART DEUX —>

Michele Fiore says she wants to shoot Syrian refugees
Las Vegas Sun / 12-7-2015

APOLOGETICS. Copious mea culpas to all my feminist readers for the above sojourn into male chauvinist piggery, but the heart is a lonely and pasta-craving hunter.

¡HAIL CESAR! César Chávez Celebration XIII happens on the great one's birthday, Tuesday, March 31, at Circus Circus Reno. Details at CesarChavezNevada.com/

 I guarantee a good time even without Gov. Veto El Obtúsè.

Maybe he's ticked because I forwarded an e-mail headlined "State Treasurer Resigns and Pleads Guilty to Attempted Extortion."

With all the grief madcap Nevada treasurer Dan Schwartz has been causing him, I thought Gov. Sandoval might enjoy momentary relief — until realizing that the story concerned the treasurer of Pennsylvania.


Be well. Raise hell. / Esté bien. Haga infierno. (Pardon my Spanglish.)

The Underbelly of the News—>Subscribe to Barbwire Confidential

BARBWIRE EXTRAS...

65 YEARS OF KICKING THE CAN DOWN THE YELLOW BRICK ROAD. Read Tribune alumnus Dennis Myers' tour de force about a tour de farce in the Feb. 5 Reno News & Review.

His cover story "No Fair" provides a quick and vicious history lesson about Nevada government failing to take care of its people.

MYERS: Nevadans may well wonder why one of the state’s biggest and most familiar problems could be ignored so assiduously for decades, like an elephant in the room. In the end, the explanation comes down to a rule of thumb for politicians: Offending the affluent comes with consequences. Offending the working poor does not.

He also posits a tax solution which liberals may find quite surprising. (I resemble that remark.)

TOMORROW'S NEWS TODAY: FEEL UP YOUR FIRE METER. The Reno Gazette-Journal did big spreads on three consecutive Sundays (Sept. 14, Sept. 21 and Sept. 28) on NV Energy smart meter fires.

Welcome aboard.

Barbwire readers were two years ahead on the fire meter issue. (Touch a Smart Meter, Go to Jail — 11 October 2012)

FIRE METER UPDATES: THE NEVADA FIRE MARSHALL'S INVESTIGATION concluded "don't worry, be happy." I'm still worried and will continue fondling NVE's precious equipment —> If your smart meter feels very hot, not just from sunshine, call 911.

In its Sunday 21 Dec. 2014 front page headline major story, the Reno Gazette-Journal published results of the NVEnergy-commissioned "don't worry, be happy" echo study.

On 1-27-2015, the RGJ published an analysis based on veteran reporter Anjeanette Damon's review of more than 1,000 pages of documents. Barbwire bottom line: NVE handles this like auto manufacturers handle defects —> It's cheaper to pay legal settlements after people are injured or killed than to fix the problem.

Don'tcha worry 'bout a thing!

If you can't trust your power company, who can you trust?

DIDN'T THEY MAKE A MOVIE CALLED "THE INCREDIBLES?" On 2-6-2015, the RGJ reported that the Public Utilities Commission has ordered NVE to hire an independent laboratory to review the material.

ANTE INTO THE GAME: Support the new season of Barbwire.TV by putting your money where my mouth is.

A thousand thanks to those who already responded and keep sending show suggestions

  Stay tuned.

  I encourage you to donate to the cause at Barbwire.TV/

The medium that shapes public opinion needs at least one refuge where it is not filtered through the distorted green eye shades of prissy corporate accountants for whom profit is the only priority; where self-censorship is the journalist's normal work environment and where all sins of omission are tacitly encouraged and forgiven with the wave of a balance sheet.

This is important. We've got a lot of work to do.

Get ahead of corporate-influenced news—>Subscribe to Barbwire Confidential.

Be well. Raise hell. / Esté bien. Haga infierno. (Pardon my Spanglish.)

Andrew Barbano is a 46-year Nevadan, chair of the Nevada César Chávez Committee, producer of Nevada's annual César Chávez Day celebration, first vice-president and political action chair of the Reno-Sparks NAACP, labor/consumer/civil rights advocate, member of Communications Workers of America Local 9413/AFL-CIO and editor of NevadaLabor.com and JoeNeal.org and DoctorLawyerWatch.com/ As always, his opinions are strictly his own. Check local listings for other Nevada cable systems. E-mail barbano@frontpage.reno.nv.us. Barbwire by Barbano has originated in the Sparks Tribune since 1988.

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Smoking Guns... Get ahead of corporate-influenced news—>Subscribe to Barbwire Confidential Barbano to legislative committee: Let Tesla, Switch and Apple help pay for police officer video cameras Clinging to the Ledge: guts, feathers and all Barbwire by Barbano / Expanded from the 3-3-2015 Sparks Tribune We don't need no stinking wages! It became necessary to destroy the community in order to save it Barbwire by Barbano / Special online edition 2-26-2015 The skeleton of the underbelly of the news Barbwire by Barbano / Expanded from the 2-24-2015 Sparks Tribune Parsing our parsimonious public pursers Barbwire by Barbano / Expanded from the 2-17-2015 Sparks Tribune What else is new? Southern Nevada CLC authorizes strike sanction vs. wage violator. The flush of victory and the irony of deceit Barbwire by Barbano / Expanded from the 2-10-2015 Sparks Tribune Senate Republicans take a jackhammer to the bedrock of Nevada trade unionism The last bastion of local hire comes under fire By Sean Whaley / Las Vegas Review-Journal 2-4-2015 Follytix, Foxcatchers and corporate weasels Barbwire by Barbano / Expanded from the 2-3-2015 Sparks Tribune We Don't Need No Education Archive The ever-expanding Ira Hansen Archive of an anachronism BREAKING BAD Walter White and some other white guy Who's,,, ...Who? DING DONGS FOR MICHELE MY BELLE NEW — MISS JANUARY 2016 CAPTION ROULETTE: Please (pardon the pun) feel free to send your additional suggestions Who was that lady I saw you with last night? That was no lady, that was...none of your damned business! But can she cook? There is very little difference between man and woman— but vive la différence! Why is he wearing a parachute? It's a back and shoulder brace for heavy lifting. Is he going to take a dive? Quite a jump. Gives new meaning to "leap of faith." GERONIMO! Searching for the awful truth? Is it real or is it Memorex? Only her hairdresser knows for sure. Only Victoria's Secret knows for sure. Clears up your face and messes up your mind. Searching for the right words to say? I know she hid her .45 someplace in here with her 38's. What's a nice girl like you doing in a place like him? Watch your fingers — those things bite. Feelings. Nothing more than feelings. Let your fingers do the walking. If you can't lick 'em, join 'em. Do you know Charlie Sheen? Where's the beef? Mama Mia! That'sa some spicy meat'a ball. I can't believe I ate the whole thing. How do you spell relief? Plop, plop. Fizz fizz. Oh, what a relief it is. It's morning in America. In your heart, you know he's right. Come out, come out — wherever you are. Don't ask. Don't tell. Nobody's going to believe you're my doctor. When you care enough to send the very best. When in the course of human events... In order to form a more perfect union. In order to Maidenform a more perfect union. There's always a catch. Here, lemme show you... I really need to get something off my chest. Y'all want fries with them? "If you take your clothes off, it's amazing what will happen." — Lady Gaga to David Letterman Breaking Bad 5: Machine Gun Michele and the good ole boys Barbwire by Barbano / Expanded from the 12-16-2014 Sparks Tribune Dr. Michele's Greatest Ding-Dong Bells: Google at will Cancer is a fungus that can be washed out with salt water. Anybody for an ocean swim? Surf's up for God's own cancer cure. Her campus carry bill (AB148) is not dangerous because alcohol is banned on campus But what if the student bitches ask for it? Well, according to Machine Gun Mama, packing heat will ensure the safety of "hot little girls."* Culinary Union protestors should be shot, especially if they inconvenience Michele's grand entrance to a hotel. Let's shoot the lawmakers who gave Nevada land away to the feds. (Anyone serving in 1864 is dead anyway, so no harm, no foul?) Government welfare queen Cliven Bundy is just a misunderstood patriot. * "If these young, hot little girls on campus have a firearm, I wonder how many men will want to assault them. The assaults that are occurring would go down once these sexual predators get a bullet in their head." (New York Times 15 Feb. 2015) Do they get extra points if the person they kill is a union member? Nevada gun bill hijacks campus rape discussion Reno Gazette-Journal Editorial 3-11-2015 "Fiore's argument makes the case that if only woman defended themselves better, they would not get raped. This is the definition of victim blaming. Supposing Nevada's bill passes using Fiore's logic, think what this will mean for female students who get raped. It will mean that they will have no one to blame but themselves if they failed to carry a gun with them at all times." (Will Fiore recommend waterproof guns for shower use?) Breaking Bad 4: Ira and his ammosexuals flip us the finger Barbwire by Barbano / Expanded from the 12-9-2014 Sparks Tribune / Updated 12-11-2014 Union decline and rising inequality in two charts by Colin Gordon Economic Policy Institute / 6-5-2012 Labor Day: State of the Unions By Mark Robison / Reno Gazette-Journal / Sunday 9-1-2013 The above graph was used in journalist Mark Robison's extensive Hard Labor: Nevada unions tout role in helping workers, firms, economy (Sunday 2 Sept. 2012 Reno Gazette-Journal, page one, Reno Rebirth section of the print edition). Union men Jim Burrell, Paul McKenzie and Guy Louis Rocha did the movement proud. WOMEN AND UNIONS — ORPHAN MAJORITIES The Barbwire Labor Day column Reno Gazette-Journal / 9-3-2012 ...and more ammo... We Don't Need No Education The continuing Barbwire series Barbwire: Nevada not really a state No, we were not Battle Born in Kenya Top 10 reasons Nevada lives in the 19th Century Barbwire by Barbano / Expanded from the 10-17-2013 Sparks Tribune Low-income penalty: Nevada socks it to the working poor BARBANO: Nevada is one big company town Dennis Myers / Reno News & Review 10-10-2013 State of Health National health care comes up against a very sick state. WHAT'S IN IT FOR US? Dennis Myers / Reno News & Review 10-10-2013 ...and more ammo yet IMF Head Says Inequality Threatens Democracy. Here Are 7 Charts Proving She’s Right. By Erika Eichelberger / Mother Jones/BillMoyers.com 5-30-2014 “The behavior of the financial sector has not changed fundamentally…since the crisis. The industry still prizes short-term profit.” The Post-Dated Recession: Pay me now or pay me later Barbwire by Barbano / Expanded from the 9-6-2012 Daily Sparks Tribune The Post-dated Recession By Joshua H. Silavent / Daily Sparks Tribune / 5-3-2011 Nevada Press Assn. Better Newspaper Contest 2013-14: BARBWIRE SCORES SIXTH NEVADA PRESS ASSOCIATION AWARD BRONZE 2014 Hopelessly trying to win an earthquake / 4-18-2013 The 2013 Loony Tunes Legislative Lexicon / 5-30-2013 The politics of media ga-ga boosterism / 3-20-2014 2012: WE WON —> BIG NEWS FROM THE NEVADA PRESS ASSOCIATION GOMORRAH SOUTH CONFAB—> BARBWIRE NOMINEE GUY RICHARDSON INDUCTED INTO NPA HALL OF FAME ON FIRST BALLOT Support legendary photographer Don Dondero next 2010 GOLD HAT TRICK: Barbwire takes first place three years in a row. The winning entries Suing for Schools: The 20-year shuck Expanded from the 2-21-2010 Daily Sparks Tribune RED flags flying low over Sparks Expanded from the 1-10-2010 Daily Sparks Tribune The wrath of self-righteous racism Expanded from the 11-8-2009 Daily Sparks Tribune Government contacts Nev. congressional delegation Nevada Legislature State of Nevada Secretary of State Carson City Clark County City of Las Vegas Douglas County Reno City Council Sparks City Council Washoe County Commission Washoe Registrar of Voters The campaign against forcibly-paid newspaper obituaries And they wonder why the newspaper business is dying?   The Dean's List    The Dean of Reno Bloggers could very well be Andrew Barbano, self-described "fighter of public demons," who started putting his "Barbwire" columns online in 1996 and now runs 10 sites. RENO NEWS & REVIEW, 11-9-2006 The 2009 first-place Nevada Press Association award winners Tony the Tiger & the flaky NFL Barbwire / 11-30-2008 Deregulation is never having to say you're sorry Barbwire / 8-3-2008 Nevada: A good place to visit, but do you want to live here? Barbwire / 6-15-2008 The 2008 first-place Nevada Press Association award winners The price of a piece / 6-17-2007 Boxing Pandora /9-23-2007 The Lady in the Red Dress 10-28-2007 1997 Pulitzer Prize entries The life and times of Travus T. Hipp The best who ever was   Get ahead of corporate-influenced news—>Subscribe to Barbwire Confidential

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Copyright © 1982-2015 Andrew Barbano

Andrew Barbano is a 46-year Nevadan, editor of NevadaLabor.com and JoeNeal.org; and former chair of the City of Reno's Citizens Cable Compliance Committee. He is producer of Nevada's annual César Chávez Day celebration and serves as first vice-president, political action chair and webmaster of the Reno-Sparks NAACP. As always, his opinions are strictly his own. E-mail barbano@frontpage.reno.nv.us.

Barbwire by Barbano moved to Nevada's Daily Sparks Tribune on Aug. 12, 1988, and has originated in them parts ever since.
Whom to blame: How a hall-of-famer's hunch birthed the Barbwire in August of 1987
Tempus fugit.

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