Barbwire by Barbano: Don't mess with Mary Poppins

Don't mess with Mary Poppins
Barbwire by Andrew Quarantino Barbáno / Expanded from the Sparks Tribune 12-11-2024

"Half my advertising budget is wasted. Now, if I only knew which half."— John Wanamaker, creator of the price tag.

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The Dean's List

The Dean of Reno Bloggers could very well be Andrew Barbano, self-described "fighter of public demons," who started putting his "Barbwire" columns online in 1996 and now runs 10 sites.

RENO NEWS & REVIEW, 11-9-2006

Tomorrow's news today —> Subscribe to Barbwire Confidential
TOP SECRET— HushHush!

Is there anything more sacred than the NFL? Hell, yes. Mary Poppins.

CBS recently violated the sacred cathedral of Sunday football by clipping a close game in the last two minutes to go to another contest.

Shades of the legendary 1968 Heidi Game when NBC went to its previously scheduled movie "Heidi" and obliterated one of the most sensational comebacks in NFL history (two Oakland Raiders touchdowns in NINE seconds).

All involved promised never to do that again. Have they forgotten? The word "Heidi" does not appear on NFL.com/ (Barbwire 10-2-2024)

Disney/ABC did CBS one better a few days ago: They cut out the concluding scene of "Mary Poppins" wherein she opens her umbrella and floats away over olde London.

Why the carnage? To drop in more cheery BUY NOW! holiday commercials, of course.

I contacted both responsible local TV stations and their respective networks.

At least KTVN TV-2 News Director Jason Pasco responded, adding that station management would go to CBS. Like them, KOLO TV-8 and Disney/ABC are sitting shiva, not another word.

So why is this minor gripe important? Don't local and network television have bigger worries, like inventing a graphics generator with spell-check so that dingbat typos like "Satutryrday" don't pollute the airwaves? (Channel 2, last week.)

Every sentient English teacher on the face of the earth would be grateful.

Alas and alack, literacy is fighting a losing war. In the age of the iPhone, writing is so very uselessly old school.

We are now plunging buttfirst back more than 5,000 years and communicating with pictures, aka hieroglyphics, aka emojis.

Some 11,000 mostly younger Nevada voters had their ballots put on hold last month because they couldn't remember how to sign their names the same way twice. Many of those ballots were not counted.

So who's to blame for this reversion toward scratching on cave walls? How about...me.

I practiced a sometimes less than honorable profession for more than half a century. It's best typified by a three-panel "Wizard of Id" cartoon from decades ago. Shyster trial lawyer Larsen E. Pettifogger is grilling a witness.

Half-truths, stretching facts, over-promising. Those are just typical of the trade.

Madison Avenue legend Jerry Della Femina, in his 1970 bestseller "From Those Wonderful Folks Who Gave You Pearl Harbor," made one glaring error.

Defending his virginity, he said that he didn't like political advertising because politicians are permitted to lie. True, but the whole ad profession is suffused with falsity and sins of omission.

I know that most advertisers, politicians included, insist on honestly representing their offerings. But there are always charlatans that push the envelope with often disastrous results. Witness King Donald the First.

One of my bosses once correctly advised "the only reason our TV spots aren't working is that we're not telling people what they want to hear." That remains true for car dealers, the subject at hand back then, as well as politicos evermore. Again, witness King Donald.

Greed and power are very dark, very human, motivations. Mass media merely serve the demons.

So where lies the cause? Let's go back a century to legendary Philadelphia department store magnate John Wanamaker (1838-1922). Wanamaker's was to Philly as Macy's and Gimbel's were to New York and Marshall Field to Chicago.

The holy grail of advertising lies in finding which half of the budget is hitting the wrong eyeballs. Thus was born the business of marketing research. Who are our customers and what will tickle their fancies?

And so "great ratings" entered the national lexicon and even stands today as the deciding factor for scoring a presidential cabinet appointment.

Every useful innovation has always been in danger of perversion in service to money and power. The promise of television, and its bastard child the Internet, is often more damaging than beneficial.

With TV, ratings services approximated who was watching what. Exposed to the hidden algorithms of the web, we now voluntarily waive our precious privacy and let Big Brother learn and sell everything about us. Abuse is endemic and epidemic.

Criticism and satire about media mayhem are legion, from Vance Packard's 1957 "The Hidden Persuaders" to JG Ballard's 1963 short story "Subliminal Man."

In the latter, a dystopian consumerism-crazed society is so propagandized that they feel compelled to buy something even if they don't need it. (Sound familiar?) Freeway underpasses lie filled with brand new appliances, dumped because someone advertised something "new and improved."

Electronic media can prove addictive (slot machines) and sometimes dangerous. In 1997, more than 700 Japanese children were hospitalized after watching a six-second flashing-lights segment of "Pokemon" and going into epileptic seizures. Followup research showed more than 12,000 children were affected, as were many adults. (Some was attributed to mass hysteria.)

Russian Internet trolls played a major role in breaking the UK out of the European Union (Brexit) and greasing the first infestation of King Donald in 2016.

TikTok is so popular that governments around the world quake in fear that China is gathering critical intelligence through it. Ukrainian and Russian populations are both dependent on Telegram, with accompanying propaganda opportunities.

Young shooters around the world have been radicalized by finding something online that tells them what they want to hear.

The genie is out of the bottle and he's carcinogenic. Democracy lies imperiled.

As always, my best cure for what ails us lies with women taking control of politics. I'll now add a second, courtesy of Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young: "Teach your children well."

¡Sí se puede!

Happy High Holly Days to you and yours.

Be well. Raise hell. / Esté bien. Haga infierno. (Pardon my Spanglish.)
être bien, élever l'enfer (Pardon my French.) Stammi bene. Scatenare l'inferno. (And Italian.)

_________________________

Andrew Quarantino Barbano is a 56-year Nevadan and editor of NevadaLabor.com, SenJoeNeal.org, DoctorLawyerWatch.com, BallotBoxing.US, ConsumerCoalitionv.org, ChantalCoalition.org, Rentvolution.org, MIssissippiWestNV.org and CesarChavezNevada.com among others. He is a longtime member of the Reno-Sparks NAACP and Sparks-based Communications Workers of America Local 9413/AFL-CIO. As always, his comments are entirely his own. Barbwire by Barbano has originated in the Sparks Tribune since August 12, 1988. His first byline in the paper came in 1973.

The Northern Nevada Central Labor Council/AFL-CIO inducted him into the César Chávez Nevada Labor Hall of Fame on April 5, 2024.

Breaking News —> Masks work!

And the plague is rampant once again. Be very afraid.

Trump Victory Would Be a Public Health Disaster
By Whistleblower Rick Bright/New York Times/10-10-2024

The parable of the pasta water
Barbwire by Andrew Quarantino Barbáno / Expanded from the Sparks Tribune 12-4-2024 / Updated 12-6-2024 GMT / Expansions in blue /

They said there'll be snow at Christmas
They said there'll be peace on Earth
But instead it just kept on raining
A veil of tears for the virgin birth [2]

"Every heart desires," my mother Mary admonished after relating the sobering old country story of the spaghetti water.

I was a little kid helping out mom in our big kitchen, getting ready for a big Sunday dinner.

I don't remember what led into it, but she started telling me the pasta water legend which I remember to this very day.

In old Sicilia, a big wedding celebration was being held at the biggest house in town.

Mothers and grandmothers were busy preparing a sumptuous feast when a barefoot, skinny little girl in a ragged dress came shuffling by.

The aromas wafting from the kitchen enchanted her.

Timidly, she approached a window to watch the busy proceedings and finally summoned the courage to speak to the nearest woman.

"Signora, your cooking smells so good," she spoke barely above a whisper.

"When you finish boiling the pasta, before you throw out the water, may I please have a little cup of it to taste? It would mean so much to me."

The doñas had stopped work and gathered at the window by the time the mistress of the house pushed through.

"Get out of here you dirty-faced little tramp," the large imposing dueña thundered. "We are all very busy."

The thin ragged child shivered, slowly shuffled home and fell into a deep sadness.

"She soon died of a broken heart," my mother said. "Andy, never forget that every heart — every heart — desires.

"Even if you have very little, there is always someone else with less."

I remembered that story after watching a passel of Christmas commercials on TV.

The ads featured the usual, mostly palefaced blonde-haired happy children and their families doing Christmassy stuff.

The music and all the food and decorations were designed to make even the most jaded a bit ooey-gooey.

Alas, my liberal bleeding heart promptly flashed on the so many millions who have so much less than me.

Even here in the biggest, fattest, richest country the world has even known, embarrassingly huge numbers of American children can't get enough to eat.

Many Nevada school kids can't afford lunch even though the state has plenty of money.

Television pulses with the plasma of privation from every precinct of our little planet.

Is it any wonder, then, that heirs to the legacy of the raggedy little girl smolder and seeth, motivated to do something — anything — even if it proves wrong.

Deprivation begets desperation.

When you've got nothing, you've got nothing to lose.

You and I get mushy when subjected to media manipulation of our emotions featuring fat little cherubs decorating trees.

But to somebody constantly cold and hungry, those same images evoke despair which may one day morph into deepening depression or erupt in violent rage.

They sold me a dream of Christmas
They sold me a Silent Night
They told me a fairy story
'Till I believed in the Israelite
I believed in Father Christmas
I looked to the sky with excited eyes
'Till I woke with a yawn in the first light of dawn
And I saw him and through his disguise

"So this is Christmas. What have you done?" sang John Lennon.

"Take care of each other!" admonished very Christian wiseman George Carlin.

I wish you a hopeful Christmas
I wish you a brave new year
All anguish pain and sadness
Leave your heart and let your road be clear
They said there'll be snow at Christmas
They said there'll be peace on Earth
Hallelujah Noel be it Heaven or Hell
The Christmas we get we deserve

More than one million have been hospitalized by Covid in the United States so far this year.

Get the latest boosters, mask up, stay safe and continue to pray for Ukraine and the currently 160 worldwide war-torn lands, including ours.

¡Sí se puede!

Hope you and yours enjoyed a Happy Thanksgibleting. Happy High Holly Days.

Be well. Raise hell. / Esté bien. Haga infierno. (Pardon my Spanglish.)
être bien, élever l'enfer (Pardon my French.) Stammi bene. Scatenare l'inferno. (And Italian.)

[1] Whether or not use of "veil" is an error or what the writers intended, this homonym works on several poetic levels. "Vale" just means "valley," thus "vale of tears," whereas "veil" connotes a cascade of sorrows obscuring all else. And an allusion to violent loss of innocence — virginity.

[2] DISCOGRAPHY. "I Believe in Father Christmas" lyrics by Peter Sinfeld, music and vocals by Dan Lake (with turbocharging courtesy of Sergei Prokofiev); topped out at number two behind Queen's "Bohemian Rhapsody" in 1974.

As always, your best opportunities to hear the greatest-ever Christmas song lie with Pam Ferris and Max Volume on KOZZ 105.7 fm, especially Max's traditional Christmas Eve extravaganza leading up to midnight.
_________________________

The Northern Nevada Central Labor Council/AFL-CIO inducted him into the César Chávez Nevada Labor Hall of Fame on April 5, 2024.

Breaking News —> Masks work!

And the plague is rampant once again. Be very afraid.

Trump Victory Would Be a Public Health Disaster
By Whistleblower Rick Bright/New York Times/10-10-2024

Chef Charlie Abowd: Renaissance Mensch
Barbwire by Andrew Quarantino Barbáno / Expanded from the Sparks Tribune 11-27-2024
Updated 11-27-2024 GMT / Expansions in blu

Do this long enough and you learn how to write while weeping. Like right now.

I can't better describe Charlie Abowd than the words of legendary operatic tenor Jan Peerce who once defined a mensch as "a whole man."

This week, Reno Gazette-Journal reporter Siobhan McAndrew wrote "After a long day at Adele's restaurant, the kitchen closed and clean, chef Charlie Abowd was relieved to finally be going home.

"As he got into his car in Carson City late that night, he saw a man rummaging through the same garbage Abowd had just brought outside. Abowd walked back inside and made the man a hot meal.

“'I have the ability to give, and I'd rather he have fresh, hot food,' he told his family.

"That was the norm for Abowd, the longtime chef and owner of Adele's who died Nov. 9 of a heart attack at age 73."

I fought back tears until Charlie's family sent an array of photos.

FLOWER CHILDREN — Charlie and Karen on the deck at Adele's once upon a time.

Over the decades, I shared so many wonderful memories with my late wife Betty, Charlie and his family. At Adele's on January 24, 1982, we attended the most gourmet and exclusive Super Bowl party this side of corporate VIP suites as Joe Montana led the 49ers to their first win. We sometimes stayed at Adele's past closing time and met the crew at a Carson coffee shop to chat and laugh the night away.

Charlie was the direct descendant of immigrants, as am I. Who knows, maybe we were paisanos. Sicily was the crossroads of the ancient world so anyone from there might share DNA from just about anywhere.

My family came thru Ellis Island from Italy about the same time his arrived from Lebanon, formerly known as Phoenicia, the greatest seafaring nation of the ancient world. It also included parts of modern Syria and Israel. Phoenicia controlled Sicily for about 300 years. I find comfort thinking that Charlie and I were very distant relatives.

I cannot accord him more affection and respect than to call him my bro. We both grew up in family restaurant businesses. I know about working long hours on your feet in withering heat where you may need to take salt pills on a busy shift.

Charlie learned at the knee of his father, Paul. Like his dad, he became a world class chef. Charlie was a jovial, welcoming impresario when he could break away from spinning his magic back in the kitchen.

The last time I saw Paul Abowd at Reno's Stone House Cafe, he mentioned his fascinating origins working a pushcart on a Cleveland boardwalk. Like his son Charlie, he earned his way up. [[Paul died at 96 on March 11, 2024.]]

Paul and Adele Abowd were a match made in heaven. He ran manufacturing, she ramrodded marketing and distribution. After selling their multiple northern California enterprises, they moved to Carson City. In 1978, they opened Adele's Restaurant and Bar on Carson Street a few blocks from Nevada's capitol.

Lobbying and politicking combined with world class cuisine created a happy accident of history, the likes of which will never be again. Charlie and his beautiful wife, Karen, bought Adele's from the folks and operated it until the disastrous fire of 2019 which ended an era.

Karel Ancona, co-author of Charlie's popular 2023 cookbook and memoir, announced that Charlie died “on the eve of the 18th anniversary of what he considered one of his greatest professional achievements — cooking dinner for 100 at The James Beard House in New York City, an event that grew from an impromptu visit to Adele's by Chef Daniel Boulud.”

Charlie once turned down the chef's position at a major Las Vegas resort. After leaving Charlie and Karen to mind Carson in 1998, Paul and Adele started Adele's at the Plaza across from the Bruce Thompson Federal Courthouse at S. Virginia and Liberty in Reno.

Ever over-achieving, they also opened Peg's Glorified Ham & Eggs a block west on Sierra Street. Paul sold both after Adele's 2004 death and at age 78 went to work renovating what is now Reno's Stone House Cafe on W. Plumb Lane. Peg's now has nine Nevada locations including Sparks on E. Prater Way.

Karen and Charlie started the non-profit Greenhouse Project which provides fresh produce year-round to needy families. For many years, they drove to Reno early every Sunday morning bringing fresh hot breakfasts to downtown's Record Street homeless shelter and tent city.

The Abowd name was magic. I once got a call from a desperate elderly mother living with her adult mentally disabled son in a vermin-infested apartment near the state legislature. (Barbwire 5-16-2018) The absentee owner's Douglas County property managers stonewalled.

I let them know I was going to call Carson City Supervisor Karen Abowd. Then the heavens opened. The mom thanked me a few days later. Her apartment had been fully repaired and cleaned up.

“Remember, there are people in our community who need help and even the tiniest contribution of time, resources or money adds up to making a difference that matters,” Charlie wrote on Facebook in 2014.

Charlie Abowd, a kind and generous man. My bro, the mensch. Requiescat in pace.

CELEBRATION Monday Dec. 16 10:30 a.m., Carson Brewery Arts Center. Go to the NevadaLabor.com Barbwire expanded edition for links to Charlie's favorite charities for donations in lieu of flowers, along with photos, history and news stories. You may send remembrances for publication to me.

Get the latest boosters, stay safe and continue to pray for Ukraine and over 160 war-torn lands, including ours.

¡Sí se puede!

Happy Thanksgibleting to you and yours.

Be well. Raise hell. / Esté bien. Haga infierno. (Pardon my Spanglish.)
être bien, élever l'enfer (Pardon my French.) Stammi bene. Scatenare l'inferno. (And Italian.)

[1] Charlie's memoir, “Recipes and Rambles that Made Adele’s a Nevada Hot Spot" may be purchased at the Purple Avocado bookstore in Carson City, ordered directly from the publisher or anywhere online.
_________________________

The Northern Nevada Central Labor Council/AFL-CIO inducted him into the César Chávez Nevada Labor Hall of Fame on April 5, 2024.

Breaking News —> Masks work!

And the plague is rampant once again. Be very afraid.

Trump Victory Would Be a Public Health Disaster
By Whistleblower Rick Bright/New York Times/10-10-2024

Top 10 Cures at 14: Exorcist wanted
Barbwire by Andrew Quarantino Barbáno / Expanded from the Sparks Tribune 11-20-2024 / Updated 11-20 & 11-21-2024 GMT / Expansions in blue /

"We have met the enemy and he is us." — from Walt Kelly's legendary "Pogo" comic strip

President Hoover, meet Smoot and Hawley
Barbwire by Andrew Quarantino Barbáno / Expanded from the Sparks Tribune 11-13-2024 / Updated 11-14 & 11-15-2024 GMT / Expansions in blue

The Saga of Sarah the Tranny Granny
Barbwire by Andrew Quarantino Barbáno / Expanded from the Sparks Tribune 11-6-2024 / Updated 11-6-2024 GMT

FASCISM? That's a new face cream, right?
Barbwire by Andrew Quarantino Barbáno / Expanded from the Sparks Tribune 10-30-2024 / Updated 10-30-2024 GMT