I have not been alone among political pros in terming GOP U.S. Senator Dean Heller and Attorney General Adam Laxalt as narrow favorites this November.

Heller's race is not even included in Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee fundraising e-mails which tout close contests everywhere but Nevada.

After press time came news of a UNR poll showing Rep. Jacky Rosen, D-Gomorrah South, and Heller in a dead heat. I remain unimpressed. Former State Treasurer and current light-guv frontrunner Kate Marshall would have had Heller by seven points by now.

Sen. Heller has said that if the Democratic edge over Republicans is 60,000 or less, he's re-elected. Based on last week's registration news, the Donkeyites remain stuck at +60k. Perhaps Secretary of State Barbara Cegavske's purges have worked. (The Tribune carried a report from the Nevada Independent that had the Donkeyites at +68k but perhaps they didn't learn longhand arithmetic from the same nuns I did.)

Donkeyite gubernatorial nominee Steve Sisolak has even generated letters to the editor wondering where his campaign has been since the June primary, although he recently began raising his profile up here in the provinces.

Last week's Barbwire was on the press when I received the political fox paw of the year (thus far), courtesy of Clark County Commission Chair Sisolak. I swear on a stack of "Art of the Deal" remainders that I am not making this up.

I got an e-mail from Sisolak's campaign that had me rolling on the floor. (Screenshot available upon request.)

Here's the complete subject line which took up the entire capacity of my e-mail program's display: "I want to tell you about what happened when my dad got laid"

We know what happened, Mr. Commissioner: YOU.

When I opened up the e, the sin of omission performed an act of cyber-contrition: "Subject: I want to tell you about what happened when my dad got laid off."

It was apparently a Labor Day e-mail which arrived a day late. (Such timing.) Either way, some sort of labor became inextricably involved at some point.

This underscores a Nevada political season remarkable for its lack of laughs. Since facts have been permanently exiled, humor remains the most devastating political weapon in any campaign arsenal. Alas and alack, amateurs abound.

Last week, I detailed how Republicans have warmed over the 1982 strategy which toppled four-term Democratic US Sen. Howard Cannon with the biggest underdog in Nevada history, Chic Hecht.

Bush the Elder copied the ghost strategy in 1988, banishing lightweight VP nominee Dan Quayle to red state reservations. Nevada Republicans have sent Laxalt to the Cow Counties, away from population centers and media.

If elected, Laxalt has the potential to eclipse one-term disaster Jim the Dim (2007-2011) as the worst governor of the last 100 years. Gibbons had much more of a base than Laxalt but, like Laxalt, he looked like a governor. Adam the Anti is just plain cuter than Raiders second-string linebacker Sisolak.

It's game over at the top of the ticket unless the Democrats do a better job.

GET YOUR TICKETS for a better show, the Reno-Sparks NAACP's 73rd Freedom Fund Awards Dinner, Sept. 29, Grand Sierra Hotel. Go to RenoSparksNAACP.org for info. Or contact me, (775) 882-TALK. It will make you laugh, it will make you cry, it will make get up and sing and dance.

ADIOS, THORNY. Last Saturday, I said a few words at the gathering for my erstwhile City of Reno cable TV board colleague Barbara Stone (1936-2018).

Therein, I conveyed condolences from the wife of another of our hardworking volunteers, my CWA Union brother Noel E. "Thorny" Thornsberry who died on Sept. 1 in Waterloo, Iowa, at 84. I wore a union pin we both liked in his honor. Thorny was a grand man.

BILLY CLYDE PUCKETT FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE. Burt Reynolds played quarterback Puckett in the movie version of Dan Jenkins' pro football classic novel "Semi-Tough."

In his 2015 memoir "But Enough About Me," written with Jon Winokur, Reynolds stated "I had the feeling that instead of trying to develop the brand, Donald (Trump) was angling (to merge the USFL) with the NFL so he could wind up with an NFL franchise for a song."

Reynolds was part-owner of the Tampa Bay Bandits (1983-85), named after his most successful film series. The USFL was meant to be a spring-summer league, circumventing head-to-head competition with the NFL. He and his partners wanted to make football fun again, Reynolds wrote.

"It was Donald's fault that the USFL didn't survive...I like Donald but I hold onto my wallet when we shake hands...his personal ambition sank the USFL. He was interested in only two things: money and publicity."

Reynolds' bankroller, the late Canadian billionaire John Bassett (father of tennis star Carling Bassett), said that Trump's "ego transcended his business sense."

THE BANDIT ABOUT A TRUE BANDIDO: "In the years since, every time Donald runs for president, I pray he never gets the chance to do to the USA what he did to the USFL."
We were warned. Thanks for the memories, Bandit.

THE CURSE OF BURT. Many decades ago, my late wife, Betty, lived next door to an Arizona State professor who was a dead ringer for Burt Reynolds. This poor guy had to run through airports because women would start chasing him, trying to rip off his clothes.

The price of fame. Thanks for the memories, Bandit.

Be well. Raise hell.

Esté bien. Haga infierno. (Pardon my Spanglish.) / être bien, élever l'enfer (And my French.) / Stammi bene. Scatenare l'inferno. (And Italian.)
_______
Andrew Barbano is a 49-year Nevadan, executive producer of Nevada's annual César Chávez Day celebration, first vice-president and political action chair of the Reno-Sparks NAACP, labor/consumer/civil rights advocate, member of Communications Workers of America Local 9413/AFL-CIO and editor of NevadaLabor.com and BallotBoxing.US and SenJoeNeal.org and DoctorLawyerWatch.com/ As always, his opinions are strictly his own. Check local listings for other Nevada cable systems. E-mail barbano@frontpage.reno.nv.us. Barbwire by Barbano has originated in the Sparks Tribune since 1988 and received its 8th Nevada Press Association award and 5th first-place at the 30 Sept. 2017 NPA annual convention in Carson City. (That trophy and about six bucks will get you a Latte Mocha Cotsafracas Chingade at just about any Starbux worldwide, guaranteed.)

WEB XTRAS & SMOKING GUNS —>

THE BIG 3-0. Sunday, August 12, marked 30 years since the first Barbwire appeared in the Rail City's newspaper of record since 1910. "The Chilling of Hot August Nights" brought the first of my eight Nevada Press Association awards. I'll add more memories of the early days of the Barbwire as time, space and the political season allow.

Whom to blame: How a hall-of-famer's hunch birthed the Barbwire in August of 1987
Tempus fugit.

Sore-oppressed Soul-Sister Cities:
Menlo Park and Reno-Sparks-Fernley share similarly sad high-tech stretch marks

"All humanity has left the area": paying for Tesla's Gigafactory
Barbano and Nevada conservatives decry corporate welfare depredations
By Rory Carroll / The Guardian 7-3-2018
Editor's Note: The Guardian publishes 180,000 newspapers daily in London and environs and generates ONE BILLION monthly web page views. (I should live so long.)

"Facebook is taking everything": rising rents drive out Silicon Valley families
Property companies advertising their proximity to Facebook’s campus are giving low-income residents a choice: pay a huge rent increase or move out
By Sam Levin / The Guardian 6-20-2018