Barbwire: Letter from gods of alpha males & alpha mails

An Alternative National Anthem
By Leonard Cohen (1934-2016) & Sharon Robinson
© 1988 CBS Records, Inc.

   Everybody knows the dice are loaded.
Everybody rolls with their fingers crossed.
   Everybody knows the war is over.
Everybody knows the good guys lost.
   Everybody knows the fight was fixed.
The poor stay poor, the rich get rich.
   That's how it goes. Everybody knows.

   Everybody knows that the boat is leaking.
Everybody knows that the captain lied.
   Everybody got this broken feeling
Like their father or their dog just died.
   Everybody talking to their pockets.
Everybody wants a box of chocolates
   And a long stem rose.
Everybody knows.

   Everybody knows that you love me, baby.
Everybody knows you really do.
   Everybody knows that you've been faithful,
Give or take a time or two.
   Everybody knows you've been discreet
But there were so many people you just had to meet
   Without your clothes.
Everybody knows.

   Everybody knows that it's now or never.
Everybody knows that it's me or you.
   And everybody knows that you live forever
When you've done a line or two.
   Everybody knows the deal is rotten
Old Black Joe's still pickin' cotton
   For your ribbons and bows
And everybody knows.

   Everybody knows that the plague is coming.
Everybody knows that it's moving fast.
   Everybody knows that the naked man & woman —
Just a shining artifact of the past.
   Everybody knows the scene is dead
But there's gonna be a meter on your bed
   That will disclose
What everybody knows.

   And everybody knows that you're in trouble.
Everybody knows what you've been through
   From the bloody cross on top of Calvary
To the beach at Malibu.
   Everybody knows it's coming apart.
Take one last look at this Sacred Heart
   Before it blows.
And everybody knows.

Everybody knows. Everybody knows.
   That's how it goes. Everybody knows.

I hope you understand I just had to go back to the island.
— Leon Russell, 1942-2016

"The most painful state of being is remembering the future, particularly the one you'll never have." — Kierkegaard

Letter from gods of alpha males & alpha mails
Barbwire by Andrew Barbáno / Expanded from the Wednesday 5-13-2020 Sparks Tribune / Updated 5-14 & 5-15-2020 GMT / Expansions in blue

Greatest Hits Dept.

WE WON: BIG NEWS FROM THE NEVADA PRESS ASSOCIATION CONFAB IN GOMORRAH SOUTH —> BARBWIRE NOMINEE GUY RICHARDSON INDUCTED INTO HALL OF FAME ON FIRST BALLOT

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and Jake Highton and Dennis Myers next.
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10 the Hard Way
Barbwire wins 10th Nevada Press Association award

GOLD 2017-18

2018 First-Place Winners
From the depths of despair to the den of iniquity & holy of holies

"Excellent work. These are some of the most moving columns I've read."
— NPA contest judge/9-29-2018

The Grasshopper and
the Dragonfly
9-6-2017

Kicked off the Ledge
4-18-2017

NATIONAL NEWS FIRST-BREAK
Back to the Future in
Mississippi West Nevada
10-18-2017

Gold 2017
Don't ask Renown Med for marijuana to help your chemo
10-4-2016
We Don't Need No Education
Toxic turf threat ignored
12-13-2016
Kate Smith & Lady Gaga
2-14-2017

Bronze 6-pack
In the Uber-Nevada legislature, words can kill
4-28-2015
On artificial turf, don't breathe unless absolutely necessary (above)
11-24-2015
Leading questions, lead-headed leaders
1-19-2016

Hopelessly trying to win an earthquake
4-18-2013
2013 Loony Tunes Legislative Lexicon
5-30-2013
The politics of media ga-ga boosterism
3-20-2014

More statewide and national award winners

We Don't Need No Education—>
Neverending Barbwire Series

1997 Pulitzer Prize entries

Barbwire.TV:
15-year overnight success
Daily Sparks Tribune 2-10-2008

The Barbwire's Greatest Hits
Highlights from radio days
mp3 file

The Dean's List

The Dean of Reno Bloggers could very well be Andrew Barbano, self-described "fighter of public demons," who started putting his "Barbwire" columns online in 1996 and now runs 10 sites.

RENO NEWS & REVIEW, 11-9-2006

Tomorrow's news today —> Subscribe to Barbwire Confidential
TOP SECRET— HushHush!

“L’état, c’est moi” (“I am the state”) — Attributed to Louis XIV, King of France (1638-1715)

You know it's gonna be a bad day when it's both Monday and you find a letter from the IRS in your mailbox. Could it possibly get worse?

Yep.

As I opened it, I tried to look on the bright side. Maybe it was a stimulus/relief check. Alas and alack, nada.

The letter was from Czar Donaldov the First, mega-black marking pen signature and all, the magic marker that can redirect hurricanes. I have not yet read it because I'm on deadline and I've run out of creative "sorry I'm late" excuses for Tribune Editor Dahlberg. I also need time to properly savor such attention from on high.

Nonetheless, I think I caught the first line: "I am the Lord, your God, bow down and worship me." Or words to that effect, like "the check is in the mail."

So, a psychopath possessed of no emotions save anger and revenge, who can order me killed, knows where I live. Happy Monday.

Thanks, I guess, El Presidente, for giving me a borderline plausible cop-out to go past deadline as usual. And no, I don't owe you one.

And where the hell's my money?

BUYING IMMORTALITY. A May 9 Reno Gazette-Journal business headline caught my eye: "US asks dead taxpayers to return relief checks."

Which begs a serious metaphysical question: Where can the deceased buy stamps?

Of course: the Dead Letter Office, same place the postal service sends letters to Santa at the North Pole every year.

BTW: Dead people can legally keep the money. Which makes sense. For now.

OR (gasp!) is the IRS trying to figure out how to collect from dead people?

Images of deals with the Devil arise in my head.

POSTAL PENURY. It's no secret that Republican moonhowlers have been trying to assassinate the postal service for years.

First and foremost, it's religious dogma with them types that the for-profit private sector can do anything better than the public sector.

This ignores the fact that the postal service is the most popular of all government agencies. It was turned into a quasi-public organization some years ago, but Congress still pulls the strings.

So, a few years back, Congress in its...ahem...wisdom ordered the USPS to start shunting billions into a separate account to pay for the health care and retirement benefits of employees not yet born, 75 years into the future. That's not my joke, it's theirs and the joke is now law.

None, not one, not any other benefits plan has to do that. But it creates news reports that the postal service is losing money and should thus be turned over to the likes of Jared Kushner and Ivanka.

Actually, USPS has turned a profit the past six years in a row once the money shunted to that phony reserve account is added back in.

Czar Donaldov is convinced that Jeff Bezos, owner of Amazon.com and The Washington Post, is being subsidized by the postal service. Baldfaced lie, as usual, but Trump wants revenge for Bezos allowing the Post to (gasp!) practice journalism.

In reality, UPS, FedEx and Amazon are major USPS customers because it delivers everywhere and is the most efficient way to distribute billions of their parcels. The post office loses money performing its basic mandate to serve every address in the country, including the most rural outbacks of places like Nevada or Alaska. That costs. First class letters are not profitable, packages are.

Could there be another motive besides revenge as to why our king wants to damage the postal service? Could it be that Coronavirus-fueled all-mail voting allows many more citizens to vote?

Our Czar hisself said "If everybody voted, Republicans would never win another election."

Got it?

Game. Set. Match.

THE AWFUL TRUTH. "For my friends, everything. For my enemies, the law." — Russian autocrats' aphorism very effectively implemented by Vladimir Putin.

AWFUL TRUTH, PART DEUX. "Trumpeting tragedy as Great Depression2 descends" — Barbwire headline, 6-5-2019.

"In case you haven't noticed, we've been in recession since the third quarter of last year," I noted, adding "It's just taking distracted Americans awhile to catch up to the rest of the industrialized world which got there before us."

Alas and alack, we spawned a government that ignored all the warnings until massive death and destruction finally got somebody's attention.

[4-20-2019] — About 100 demonstrators from almost all the region's unions, local community service organizations and political activists joined Culinary Union members picketing Circus Circus in the late afternoon of April 18. A couple of CC suits came out to see what all the fuss was about, as if they didn't already know. In addition to the familiar union "contract now!" chants came calls for a strike against the Carano jocks. ¡Viva Huelga! ¡Sí se puede!

REAL NEWS DEPT. In January 2019, Culinary Union Local 226 defeated an attempt by Circus Circus-Reno to decertify (terminate) the union's representation of its workers. No word on whether management plans to appeal the result to the National Labor Relations Board which was recently put out of business for 35 days. Thank you, Czar Donaldov.

Barbwire dark foreshadowings unfortunately became reality. I thus suggest inoculation by signing onto the HushHush! list at BallotBoxing.US/ It's cheap as well as enlightening entertainment. Thank you kindly for your support.

Smoking Guns—>

Re-name former Hug High for Dolores Feemster
By William C. Webb, John A. White, Jr. and Andrew Barbáno / RGJ.com 5-7-2020 / Reno Gazette-Journal op-ed 5-10-2020

Make Dolores Feemster's light shine brightly
Barbwire by Andrew Barbáno / Expanded from the Wednesday 5-6-2020 Sparks Tribune / Updated 5-7 & 5-9-2020 / Expansions in blue

MAGAcidal maniax are loosed upon the land
Barbwire by Andrew Barbáno / Expanded from the Wednesday 4-29-2020 Sparks Tribune

Trump wants your cat and your shorts
Barbwire by Andrew Barbáno / Expanded from the Wednesday 4-22-2020 Sparks Tribune

A gold record message from the King
Barbwire by Andrew Barbáno / Expanded from the Wednesday 4-15-2020 Sparks Tribune

Are you ready to die for your country?
Barbwire by Andrew Barbáno / Expanded from the Wednesday 4-8-2020 Sparks Tribune

Payback: Corona, Cocaine & Trump
Barbwire by Andrew Barbáno / Expanded from the Wednesday 4-1-2020 Sparks Tribune
Photos, video and commentary from Barbwire correspondents in the belly of the beast: New York City and northern Italy
And remembering when Andy met Betty on April Fools Day 44 years ago

Kinks and hijinx in the time of plague
Barbwire by Andrew Barbáno / Expanded from the 3-25-2020 Sparks Tribune

The lighter side of the latest plague
Barbwire by Andrew Barbáno / Expanded from the 3-18-2020 Sparks Tribune

Medflies, flyweights and President Pelosi
Barbwire by Andrew Barbáno / Expanded from the 3-11-2020 Sparks Tribune

Trump's Blackrobes: Humpty Dumpty Homotextuals
Barbwire by Andrew Barbáno / Expanded from the 3-4-2020 Sparks Tribune

Bernie or bust, Dolores a must
Barbwire by Andrew Barbáno / Expanded from the 2-26-2020 Sparks Tribune

Czars Donaldov & Nixon win Democratic Caucus
Barbwire by Andrew Barbáno / Expanded from the 2-19-2020 Sparks Tribune

Springtime for fat cats & unburied hatchets
Barbwire by Andrew Barbáno / Expanded from the 2-12-2020 Sparks Tribune

Love saves a life on Reno's mean streets
Barbwire by Andrew Barbáno / Expanded from the 2-5-2020 Sparks Tribune

Bill Harrah's cookie cutter crumbles
Barbwire by Andrew Barbáno / Expanded from the 1-29-2020 Sparks Tribune

Going to confession with Father Barbwire
Barbwire by Andrew Barbáno / Expanded from the 1-22-2020 Sparks Tribune

National welfare, corporate welfare and MLK
Barbwire by Andrew Barbáno / Expanded from the 1-15-2020 Sparks Tribune

The New Jim Crow — Nothing New
By Michelle Alexander / New York Times January 17 & 19, 2020
Printable Text Version

The only way to stop killing is to stop killing
Barbwire by Andrew Barbáno / Expanded from the 1-8-2020 Sparks Tribune

Barbano sells out to white Republicans
Barbwire by Andrew Barbáno / Expanded from the 1-1-2020 Sparks Tribune

The Sermon on Mount Barbwire
Barbwire by Andrew Barbáno / Expanded from the 12-25-2019 Sparks Tribune
Typhoid Mary infects Sparks Addams Family
In the spirit of true democracy which provides that your rights don't allow you to sneeze on mine
Barbwire by Andrew Barbáno / Expanded from the 12-18-2019 Sparks Tribune
A fake news fable for our times
In the spirit of true democracy which provides that your rights don't allow you to sneeze on mine
Barbwire Confidential by Andrew Barbáno / 12-11-2019 Online Edition
Red-flag warnings — Ignoring history at our peril
Barbwire by Andrew Barbáno / Expanded from the 12-11-2019 Sparks Tribune
Major rent raunch and a big book launch
Barbwire by Andrew Barbáno / Expanded from the 12-4-2019 Sparks Tribune

Billionaire Tom Steyer owes me $5
Barbwire by Andrew Barbáno / Expanded from the 11-27-2019 Sparks Tribune

Back to the future down Amnesia Lane
Barbwire by Andrew Barbáno / Expanded from the 11-20-2019 Sparks Tribune

People get ready, that train's a comin'
Barbwire by Andrew Barbáno / Special Barbwire Confidential Internet Edition 11-12-2019 / Updated 11-14 & 11-15-2019
A version of this column appeared in the 11-13-2019 Sparks Tribune
An excerpt of the following was included in Andrew Barbano's address to the school board on Nov. 12.
SPECIAL REPORT FROM THE SCENE OF THE CRIME: Clever maneuvering prevents vote after 4 of 7 trustees announced support for Feemster.

DO NOT risk your kids at Golden Eagle Park
Barbwire by Andrew Barbáno / Expanded from the 11-6-2019 Sparks Tribune

Tale of 2 city halls: Cancer kids & brain damage
Barbwire by Andrew Barbáno / Expanded from the 10-30-2019 Sparks Tribune

Written in the stars: UNR football for racial justice
Barbwire by Andrew Barbáno / Expanded from the 10-23-2019 Sparks Tribune

Goodbye, Columbus: A mirror for America
Barbwire by Andrew Barbáno / Expanded from the 10-16-2019 Sparks Tribune

Déjà vu all over again: Bernie turns 2020 into 1968
Barbwire by Andrew Barbáno / Expanded from the 10-9-2019 Sparks Tribune

City of Reno turns W. Plumb Lane into horny street
Barbwire by Andrew Barbáno / Expanded from the 10-2-2019 Sparks Tribune

Hip-hopping mad over molesters and Mad Kings
Barbwire by Andrew Barbáno / Expanded from the 9-25-2019 Sparks Tribune

Trade the Confederacy straight across for Greenland
Barbwire by Andrew Barbáno / Expanded from the 9-18-2019 Sparks Tribune

Cut in twain
(Myers' favorite photo)

Dennis Myers: Enroute to the universe next door
Barbwire by Andrew Barbáno / Expanded from the 9-11-2019 Sparks Tribune
Obituary, 1948-2019
[En Español — La Voz Hispana En Nevada 9-18-2019]

Philippines to Burning Man to Ireland: Adios GOAT
Barbwire by Andrew Barbáno / Expanded from the 9-4-2019 Sparks Tribune

Nevadian Dennis Myers: The Greatest Of All Time
Barbwire by Andrew Barbáno / Expanded from the 8-28-2019 Sparks Tribune

Veteran Nevada reporter Myers removed from life support
Obituary: Dennis C. Myers 1948-2019
[En Español — La Voz Hispana En Nevada 9-18-2019]
Barbwire by Andrew Barbáno / Special Internet Edition 8-25-2019

Reno City Council passes rent control
Barbwire by Andrew Barbáno / Expanded from the 7-17-2019 Sparks Tribune

DAY OF THE DEAD
Relieve Rent & Pillage: Save SB398 & AB399
Barbwire by Andrew Barbáno / Special Online Legislative Edition / 4-12-2019 / Updated 4-13 and 4-14-2019 GMT
Fairness for tenants dies 4-12 unless lawmakers throw it a lifeline

Politics does not reward the shy
Rent justification and a death penalty for corporate depredation
Barbwire by Andres Luis Barbáno / Expanded from the 4-10-2019 Sparks Tribune / Updated 4-11 and 4-12-2019 GMT
Fairness for tenants dies 4-12 unless lawmakers throw it a lifeline

Sore-oppressed Soul-Sister Cities: Menlo Park and Reno-Sparks-Fernley share similarly sad high-tech stretch marks.
"All humanity has left the area": paying for Tesla's Gigafactory with outrageous rents and scrambling schools
Barbano and Nevada conservatives decry corporate welfare depredations
By Rory Carroll / The Guardian 7-3-2018
Editor's Note: The Guardian publishes 180,000 newspapers daily in London and environs and generates ONE BILLION monthly web page views. (I should live so long.)
[MUCH MORE TESLACIDE]

"Facebook is taking everything": rising rents drive out Silicon Valley families
Property companies advertising their proximity to Facebook’s campus are giving low-income residents a choice: pay a huge rent increase or move out
By Sam Levin / The Guardian 6-20-2018

Rentvolution.org

We Don't Need No Education

A cuckoo coup and a president, too
Barbwire exclusive: Secret 2017 meeting set the setup in motion
Barbwire by Andrew Barbáno / Uploaded 7-23-2019 / Expanded from the 7-24-2019 Sparks Tribune

Alfred E. Neuman for Washoe school superintendent
Barbwire by Andrew Barbáno / Expanded from the 7-10-2019 Sparks Tribune

Witness at the execution
Meet the new boss, same as the old boss
Barbwire by Andrew Barbáno / Expanded from the 7-3-2019 Sparks Tribune

Gang banging on 9th Street
Barbwire by Andrew Barbáno / Special Barbwire Confidential Extra Edition / Monday 7-1-2019 / Updated 7-3-2019

NevadaLabor.com We Don’t Need No Education Archive

SITE NAVIGATION TIPS: When all else fails, read the instructions (A favorite John Hanks aphorism I've been using for decades)