CHARLIE SHEEN FOR PRESIDENT. Now that we've got a real-life libertine in the White House, it's time for CBS to bring back "Two-and-a-Half Men."

Hey, if "Dallas" and "Roseanne" can revive killed-off characters, anything goes.

Donald Trump is nothing if not a mush of father fixations trying to prove worthiness to an abusive dad. Charlie Sheen's actual dad, played a righteous president in "The West Wing," so why not have Martin's son play a promiscuous president? The symmetry is perfect and the babes will look great.

In the sequel, Charlie could play a wealthy Budweiser distributor who became famous on TV for surrounding himself with comely Bud girls while riding a beer wagon pulled by huge Clydesdale horses and shooting his AK-47 into the air.

Clompers and prancers, hooves and hooters in the Charlie Harper White House — What's not to like? Harvey Weinstein is looking for work. Call him. Speaking of phone numbers...

WARMONGER/PIECEMONGER — The vaunted Tribune/Barbwire investigative team has spared every expense, as usual, to determine why John Bolton hustled himself as national security advisor to Czar Donaldov. The awful truth: He of the albino mustachio figured that the only way he could get Stormy Daniels' phone number would be to make her a threat to national security.

BACK TO DIS-REALITY. During the neo-Red Scare days of Ronald Reagan's administration, Hollywood spewed a lotta trash to cash public fears. "Red Dawn" and "Amerika" were both set in the not-too-distant future with the Soviet Union running a defeated, dystopian United States. Campfire coffeepots and no computers.

As George Orwell never really revealed how the interactive telescreen got everywhere to spy on everyone in "1984," Hollywood did not explain how the U.S. got whupped.

We appear close to answering that question. Could you live a year or seven without electricity? Or running water? Or heat or air conditioning? (Like Yemen, Syria and Iraq.)

Russian hackers apparently can disable the entire U.S. power grid at will. Tsar Putin already owns much of the U.S. government. How much of a stretch is it to see Czar Donaldov running up the white flag? He couldn't live without his daily ego fix from the Fox Noise Network, could he? Addiction is such a terrible thing.

RENOWN REDUX: My column last week about Renown hospital followup care has been validated.

I consulted with a physician and Renown's stonewalling of its own internal referral system not only violated longstanding protocols but appears to be borderline malpractice in denying prompt, self-admittedly necessary treatment. (Nevada doctors made themselves lawsuit-proof years ago.)

The mandate for a generalist to refer you to a specialist has little or nothing to do with health care. It was instituted to cut costs and reduce service back when corporate medicine began to expand more than four decades ago. Trying to get the big fat dinosaur to change is next to impossible. So little people who can't master the vagaries of a Kafkaesque system can just go die.

PREDESTINED DEPRESSION. Congratulations to the entire University of Nevada-Reno basketball apparat for fine seasons. Both teams overachieved but, alas, the outcome of the men's quest was pre-ordained. Nevada vs. St. Ignatius Loyola and his high-jumping Jesuits? No contest. The Holy of Holies rarely loses to the Den of Iniquity, especially on national TV.

CELEBRATE CESAR CHAVEZ SATURDAY. César Chávez Celebration XVI (XVI Celebración del día de César Chávez) happens at Circus Circus-Reno this Saturday, March 31, the great labor leader's 91st birthday.

It's a fact, not a hype, that this year's will be bigger and better than ever, starting with real Mexican food served by union members in a union hotel.

Ballet Folklorico de Nevada comes back by popular demand and noted Reno artist Erik Holland returns to unveil a new César Chávez painting.

We will feature a world premiere preview of a new locally produced Broadway-style musical — César Chávez Resistencia! (Resistance!).

César Chávez NevadaLabor.com Hall of Famer Maria Zamora will induct Tony Mayorga (Laborers' Local 169) into that exclusive club. The only previous posthumous HOF honoree was Fred Ross, Sr., the legendary "organizer's organizer" who taught César Chávez how to rally workers to the cause. Maria was on the front lines with Chávez in the 1960s and has never stopped laboring for the rights of workers.

The Reno-Sparks NAACP will register voters and the Northern Nevada Literacy Council will distribute FREE Spanish-language books courtesy of our friends at Grassroots Books.

Doors open at 5:30, dinner at 7;00 p.m. in the Circus Circus Mandalay Ballroom. Make your reservations at CesarChavezNevada.com, call (775) 786-1455 or e-mail me. Hurry!

¡Sí se puede!

Be well. Raise hell. / Esté bien. Haga infierno. (Pardon my Spanglish)

Andres Luis Barbáno

Web Extras —> March 21 (Barbwire/César Chávez XVI Update) — On this date in 1806, Benito Juárez was born. ¡Viva Juárez!

IMPORTANT DATES: April TBA: Washoe County sheriff candidates forum sponsored by the Reno-Sparks NAACP, ACTIONN and other community organizations. Watch this space.

ANTE INTO THE GAME: Support the new season of Barbwire.TV by putting your money where my mouth is.

Metastatical Statisticals Trump FCC chair investigated for Sinclair ties TheVerge.com / 2-15-2018 Ready for Trump TV? Inside Sinclair Broadcasting’s Plot to Take Over Your Local News Its mix of terrorism alerts, right-wing commentary and “classic propaganda” could soon reach 3/4 of the US. By Andy Kroll/Mother Jones Oct.-Nov. 2017 How Sinclair Broadcasting puts a partisan tilt on trusted local news By William Brangham/ PBS NewsHour 10-10-2017 Top-down Democrats haven't learned By Dennis Myers / Reno News & Review 8-10-2017 More Faux than Fox? Corporate octopus Sinclair moves to dominate Nevada and U.S. television By Dennis Myers / Reno News & Review 8-3-2017

  A thousand thanks to those who keep sending show suggestions.

  Stay tuned.

  I encourage you to donate to the cause at Barbwire.TV/ The medium that shapes public opinion needs at least one refuge where it is not filtered through the distorted green eye shades of prissy corporate accountants for whom profit is the only priority; where self-censorship is the journalist's normal work environment and where all sins of omission are tacitly encouraged and forgiven with the wave of a balance sheet.

  This is important. We've got a lot of work to do.

 

END OF TIMES SURVIVAL KIT. Defend yourself with humorous or humorless but always-peerless pontification by subscribing to the Barbwire Confidential News Service. Scandalous bonuses for new subscribers.

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"Media is the plural of mediocre." — Jimmy Breslin (1928-2017)

Last year's dark foreshadowings unfortunately became reality. I thus suggest inoculation by signing onto the HushHush! list at BallotBoxing.US/ It's cheap as well as enlightening entertainment. I suggest coming aboard now. Subscription prices go up soon. Thank you kindly for your support.

Be well. Raise hell. / Esté bien. Haga infierno. (Pardon my Spanglish.)

 

Andrew Barbano is a 49-year Nevadan, executive producer of Nevada's annual César Chávez Day celebration, first vice-president and political action chair of the Reno-Sparks NAACP, labor/consumer/civil rights advocate, member of Communications Workers of America Local 9413/AFL-CIO and editor of NevadaLabor.com and BallotBoxing.US and SenJoeNeal.org and DoctorLawyerWatch.com/ As always, his opinions are strictly his own. Check local listings for other Nevada cable systems. E-mail barbano@frontpage.reno.nv.us. Barbwire by Barbano has originated in the Sparks Tribune since 1988 and received its 8th Nevada Press Association award and 5th first-place at the 30 Sept. 2017 NPA annual convention in Carson City. (That trophy and about six bucks will get you a Latte Mocha Cotsafracas Chingade at just about any Starbux worldwide, guaranteed.)

 

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